I just finished reading Ghostgirl: Homecoming. Well actually that was a few weeks ago. It was great. Unlike the first book it puts you in an unnerving spot for a large portion of the book, but the ending really makes it worth reading. I'm not saying that books should always even out at the end or that a they even need an ending. In this story I feel like the end was befitting and a definite treat.
Last night I was feeling bluer than the cool segment of the color wheel. So, like any non-geek would do, I headed off to Barnes and Noble for a late night book run. I got a book of poems and stories by Edger Allen Poe; my favorite POEt( awful pun defiantly intended). I also bought a manga I read a review about in Otaku U.S.A.. It's called "When They Cry" it's really good so far.
While at B&N I read a lot of other books. I finished a book called "Babymouse Halloween". I'm a sucker for Babymouse books; they are these little graphic novels that are pink and gray. On average they are about one hundred pages long and quite hard to put down. I think that they are made for people much younger than I but I don't really care ^_^. I also read three chapters of Brom Stokers "Dracula". I REALLY WANT TO BUY IT! It wasn't your typical copy of "Dracula" this one had amazingly detailed illustrations and the story is great. I've watched the movie a thousand times and the book, so far, satisfied me further. Later on into the night, I read a book about the human anatomy, that one is probably the book I need most since I'm experimenting with skeletal structure with emphasis on the skull. Too bad my birthday Isn't until friggin APRIL! My mom still doesn't get my whole vampire thing, and I dont expect her to because that would mean I was trying to convert my mom which is just backwards. So until I'm old enough to get another job that has nothing to do with babysitting I'm going to have to watch my mom be weirded out by me as I buy fanged literature with her money.BTW: I did not enjoy the book twilight. Right now I'm Reading "Dead Until Dark" if you've heard of "True Blood" it's what that show was based off of. I wish you a happy day. farewell.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
"Under Reacting Under the Catastrophe" a Poem
BLOOD, GUTS, AND CRACKLING BONES!!!!
things that make you go,"Gah! oh God!, oh that is unpleasant!"
Or, if your like me, on a good day," HAHAHAHA! FRAWESOME! Oh thats sweet! mmm!hohoh HA!!!!!"
What if there was no reaction.
What if no one cared.
what if no reactions, WERE the reactions?
and not just to horror movies but to real life situations?
Whats that you say?
you already have no reactions to the horrors of cinema, and the horrors of real life?
to tell you the truth
that's totally normal.
At times things can be so overwhelming that they are incomprehensible.
What it feels like to not care can differ.
Between
triumph, confusion, pain, and anger.
At any rate the most curious matter remains
how does one become so nerve-less at the most morbid of scenes?
how much do you have to go through to reach such a capacity?
things that make you go,"Gah! oh God!, oh that is unpleasant!"
Or, if your like me, on a good day," HAHAHAHA! FRAWESOME! Oh thats sweet! mmm!hohoh HA!!!!!"
What if there was no reaction.
What if no one cared.
what if no reactions, WERE the reactions?
and not just to horror movies but to real life situations?
Whats that you say?
you already have no reactions to the horrors of cinema, and the horrors of real life?
to tell you the truth
that's totally normal.
At times things can be so overwhelming that they are incomprehensible.
What it feels like to not care can differ.
Between
triumph, confusion, pain, and anger.
At any rate the most curious matter remains
how does one become so nerve-less at the most morbid of scenes?
how much do you have to go through to reach such a capacity?
Love. Of morbid proportions. Of the morbid variety.
WOO! INCOMPLETE SENTENCES!!!!!
With that being said,... I can move on...?
what or who I love is none of your business. Yes, I did really mean "what". You may- and many people do- think that it is either wrong or Impossible to fall in love with objects, or things. Who and what I love lay next to each other with a border line between them. One side Is immoral, the other is strictly typical love. The object is on the immoral side, naturally. As for the "person" that should be plural, "people" rather. In regards to people it has been four months since I have dedicated my heart fully to one single being. At the moment, I find six people attractive funny and interesting (I use interesting lightly). Honestly though, I cant bring myself to like just one, because none of them are outstanding enough. Right now the object seems to be the winner. It's love, Of morbid proportions and of the morbid variety.
With that being said,... I can move on...?
what or who I love is none of your business. Yes, I did really mean "what". You may- and many people do- think that it is either wrong or Impossible to fall in love with objects, or things. Who and what I love lay next to each other with a border line between them. One side Is immoral, the other is strictly typical love. The object is on the immoral side, naturally. As for the "person" that should be plural, "people" rather. In regards to people it has been four months since I have dedicated my heart fully to one single being. At the moment, I find six people attractive funny and interesting (I use interesting lightly). Honestly though, I cant bring myself to like just one, because none of them are outstanding enough. Right now the object seems to be the winner. It's love, Of morbid proportions and of the morbid variety.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
random beliefs, emotions, and phrases for your comprehensive pleasure.
Haha, no I didn't. It's probably wrong to have sex with seahorses, tell that to Lepogtrereseretareferd, he did it. Lovers should always say sorry, it shows comfortability.I think war is barbaric, freakin think about it; we fight to "solve" problems! I like school, most kids hate High school but I love it. Don't push your religion onto others, let them find there own way. I like rainbows, they are the "bows" you put on the sky when the "rain" is done. Love and hate are the same things. "Cat angels".
Saturday, August 8, 2009
things i havent posted about
The summer is almost over. I think i should tell you the story of every thing that happened.
After spending all my life in a comfy safe suburb in south-eastern Michigan, Was moved 2000 miles south to North-western Louisiana.I have all ways loved snow and hated heat. It NEVER snowed here and the summers, springs and falls are hot like the Dickens. I went to an inner city public school for eighth grade where everyone hated me because of my "accent",because I don't like Soulja Boy, because I still have my virginity, and because I'm smart. I made two friends but they stabbed me in the belly and always took and never gave. Enough emoness. Okay, saying i was happy for summer to start would be an understatement. since the school year was so traumatizing for me, for reasons I need not explain, I decided it was best to move forward and forget it all ever happened. the week after school ended I was Planning my trip to Michigan for Blue Lake Fine Arts camp. I was going to bunk with my best friend Anya and see the people from last year that I met. I had been looking forward to this the whole year the only real friends I had lived in Michigan and some went to Blue Lake.
The next week my brother Calvin, my sister Tasha, and her boyfriend Peter came to visit. we had fun days filled with trips to Kaleidoscoops and Walmart,and Played Melee and Mario Cart constantly. During that time I discovered a love for metal as IWABO came into my life. I got there autographs and that was probably the best day of my life... at the time. After Pete and Tasha left, and Calvin stayed I watched episodes of sailor moon and read manga online. It was pretty fun. at some point Calvin got mad at me and we stoped talking to each other (I don't remember why)I even got so angry I disowned him and refused to call him my brother.
The family feud was still going strong when the worst possible thing happened. I was talking to My friend Abena on the phone and opening a letter I got in the mail that day. I took the paper out of the envelope and began to read. It was quite possibly the worst letter I had ever gotten. i hung up on abena abruptly and began sobbing with all my violently. the letter only said that wasn't going to blue lake because there wasn't enough room, but to me it said that ill never see my friends again, the only thing I was looking forward to for a year doesn't exist, and that optimism is futile.That was important to me. I tried to get over it by dying my hair pink and shopping at hot topic but the cashier at the time was Kinda rude (the same cashier gave me a CD with cracked up case the day i got IWABO'S autograph) she made me think about no one was mean at Blue Lake. When I got home i still wasn't better and submitted to crying again. That night my mom forced me to take a babysitting job for the next day, she does stuff like this when I'm sad. BTW: all of that Blue Lake stuff happened in one day.
The kid i babysat was a total spoiled brat. she called me fat, ugly, ran away from home while i was there, never listened to a single thing I said and other things I cant talk about. I was to deal with her for the rest of the summer on a daily basis. All the while my brother hated me, and I wasn't going to go to blue Lake. One day I went online and found out that IWABO was doing a home town show. I wrote a letter begging my parents to let me go and then finally said yes. I was quiet when I got there and unfortunately my mom was with me. there was a tee shirt stand and i bought an awesome over sized shirt with a beat up bear on it (below is a pic of me wearing it)
It was hot like the Dickens in there but I put it on over my two other shirts any way. I was texting Abena while the opening bands were playing. my favorite one was Scared Of The Dark. When IWABO finally got on the stage i made my way to the front. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EFFING EXCITED!!!!!!! Krysta and Steve talked a little to the audience they also kissed which was cute ^_^. Then when they played " You Ain't No Family" I was having the best time of my life. They played a song from there last CD, then one from there current one. The song I wanted to hear most of all was "Tastes Like Kevin Bacon".
during "Danger in the Manger" my mom grabbed my arm and made me leave. I never got to hear my favorite song. I got in a verbal fight with my mom, telling her that I was finally being myself when she took me out, which was true , I was getting happier and more care-free. I yelled and Flailed but i was WAAAAAAAAAAAY too pissed to cry (I even tried to). I felt a little better when my brother wrote me a letter saying he understands, and he does because the same thing happened to him at another concert. that night we became friends again.
since then I've been secretly angry everyday along with tired and pessimistic. still babysitting every-effing-day. As the summer went on, I was still pissed about not finishing the concert. When I started registering for school I felt allot better. Although this is a private, christian, preforming arts school, I don't know weather or not to expect friends, if it will be too hard or too easy, if I will like any of the guys there etc, etc.
the last day of babysitting was annoyingly long. I wanted to go home and sleep but the kid and her mom came into the house. the kid came into my room and said all of my pictures were ugly and danced and sung and touched all my stuff with her spit covered hands. when she left i was ecstatic.
today I got my hair done for back to school. I bought my uniform, ate cake, Watched South park with my brother and finished typing this blog. tomorrow is the last day of summer. Everything is going to be new...FOR THE SEVENTEENTH TIME!
After spending all my life in a comfy safe suburb in south-eastern Michigan, Was moved 2000 miles south to North-western Louisiana.I have all ways loved snow and hated heat. It NEVER snowed here and the summers, springs and falls are hot like the Dickens. I went to an inner city public school for eighth grade where everyone hated me because of my "accent",because I don't like Soulja Boy, because I still have my virginity, and because I'm smart. I made two friends but they stabbed me in the belly and always took and never gave. Enough emoness. Okay, saying i was happy for summer to start would be an understatement. since the school year was so traumatizing for me, for reasons I need not explain, I decided it was best to move forward and forget it all ever happened. the week after school ended I was Planning my trip to Michigan for Blue Lake Fine Arts camp. I was going to bunk with my best friend Anya and see the people from last year that I met. I had been looking forward to this the whole year the only real friends I had lived in Michigan and some went to Blue Lake.
The next week my brother Calvin, my sister Tasha, and her boyfriend Peter came to visit. we had fun days filled with trips to Kaleidoscoops and Walmart,and Played Melee and Mario Cart constantly. During that time I discovered a love for metal as IWABO came into my life. I got there autographs and that was probably the best day of my life... at the time. After Pete and Tasha left, and Calvin stayed I watched episodes of sailor moon and read manga online. It was pretty fun. at some point Calvin got mad at me and we stoped talking to each other (I don't remember why)I even got so angry I disowned him and refused to call him my brother.
The family feud was still going strong when the worst possible thing happened. I was talking to My friend Abena on the phone and opening a letter I got in the mail that day. I took the paper out of the envelope and began to read. It was quite possibly the worst letter I had ever gotten. i hung up on abena abruptly and began sobbing with all my violently. the letter only said that wasn't going to blue lake because there wasn't enough room, but to me it said that ill never see my friends again, the only thing I was looking forward to for a year doesn't exist, and that optimism is futile.That was important to me. I tried to get over it by dying my hair pink and shopping at hot topic but the cashier at the time was Kinda rude (the same cashier gave me a CD with cracked up case the day i got IWABO'S autograph) she made me think about no one was mean at Blue Lake. When I got home i still wasn't better and submitted to crying again. That night my mom forced me to take a babysitting job for the next day, she does stuff like this when I'm sad. BTW: all of that Blue Lake stuff happened in one day.
The kid i babysat was a total spoiled brat. she called me fat, ugly, ran away from home while i was there, never listened to a single thing I said and other things I cant talk about. I was to deal with her for the rest of the summer on a daily basis. All the while my brother hated me, and I wasn't going to go to blue Lake. One day I went online and found out that IWABO was doing a home town show. I wrote a letter begging my parents to let me go and then finally said yes. I was quiet when I got there and unfortunately my mom was with me. there was a tee shirt stand and i bought an awesome over sized shirt with a beat up bear on it (below is a pic of me wearing it)
It was hot like the Dickens in there but I put it on over my two other shirts any way. I was texting Abena while the opening bands were playing. my favorite one was Scared Of The Dark. When IWABO finally got on the stage i made my way to the front. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EFFING EXCITED!!!!!!! Krysta and Steve talked a little to the audience they also kissed which was cute ^_^. Then when they played " You Ain't No Family" I was having the best time of my life. They played a song from there last CD, then one from there current one. The song I wanted to hear most of all was "Tastes Like Kevin Bacon".
during "Danger in the Manger" my mom grabbed my arm and made me leave. I never got to hear my favorite song. I got in a verbal fight with my mom, telling her that I was finally being myself when she took me out, which was true , I was getting happier and more care-free. I yelled and Flailed but i was WAAAAAAAAAAAY too pissed to cry (I even tried to). I felt a little better when my brother wrote me a letter saying he understands, and he does because the same thing happened to him at another concert. that night we became friends again.
since then I've been secretly angry everyday along with tired and pessimistic. still babysitting every-effing-day. As the summer went on, I was still pissed about not finishing the concert. When I started registering for school I felt allot better. Although this is a private, christian, preforming arts school, I don't know weather or not to expect friends, if it will be too hard or too easy, if I will like any of the guys there etc, etc.
the last day of babysitting was annoyingly long. I wanted to go home and sleep but the kid and her mom came into the house. the kid came into my room and said all of my pictures were ugly and danced and sung and touched all my stuff with her spit covered hands. when she left i was ecstatic.
today I got my hair done for back to school. I bought my uniform, ate cake, Watched South park with my brother and finished typing this blog. tomorrow is the last day of summer. Everything is going to be new...FOR THE SEVENTEENTH TIME!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
"Oh hey H.T. Ebasile, havent seen ya in a while."
havent post in a while have I? not that it matters, no one reads this 'cept for abena. Hey Abbie! sup? call me!
. umm things have been weird lately. well not "weird" but uhhh, well, fucked up would most likely be the better phrase. I'm still trying to find myself, where the hell am I? been looking for my self. Music is no longer the punchline to my broken heart but I feel like I don't really know what kind of music I like anymore. I'm listening to music right now: I have "There's No Penguins in Alaska" by Chiodos on repeat.
Idk what else to say...
. umm things have been weird lately. well not "weird" but uhhh, well, fucked up would most likely be the better phrase. I'm still trying to find myself, where the hell am I? been looking for my self. Music is no longer the punchline to my broken heart but I feel like I don't really know what kind of music I like anymore. I'm listening to music right now: I have "There's No Penguins in Alaska" by Chiodos on repeat.
Idk what else to say...
Friday, June 26, 2009
My random opion
I feel like the worlds view on death needs to be changed. i think if you truly love some one then they never die. I think that souls live and thrive forever unless we kill them off. We think were doing ourselves a favor by forgetting the people who die and living on with our lives. When in reality were showing the insignificance of the people we love. I think the world would be a happier place if people understood that death is really just a separation of the soul from the body. The world isn't so shallow that they literally only love who they love for whats shone and bodily, no matter who you are or how evil you may be in other aspects, every one who loves someone at all, some percentage of that persons soul is part of reasons they are beloved. so if you love someone keep there soul alive in your heart.
~in loving memory of Michael Jackson.~
~in loving memory of Michael Jackson.~
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